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You’re Literally Killing Yourself

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By Josie Loos

Anyone ever think climate change is a hoax? Sadly, as much as you’d like to deny it, it’s as real as early male pattern baldness.

Our Earth is heating up, and not like 80’s-movie-prom-night heating up, heating up like 99 percent of-California-land-is-suffering-from drought- heating up. So what’s the big dealio with climate change? The dealio with climate change is it affects the entire world, including Nebraska.

Climate change will ruin agriculture, human health, and bring an unavoidable end.

Climate change is the slow increase in the overall temperature of the Earth’s atmosphere. It is often linked to the greenhouse effect. The greenhouse effect is caused by high levels of carbon dioxide and other pollutants.

Since 1880, the world’s temperature has had an increase of about two degrees. It just raised one degree in the 20th century. This two degree increase is associated with the rising levels of carbon dioxide.

There are two main ways carbon dioxide is produced: naturally and manmade.

Naturally, carbon dioxide comes from a semi- equal balance between decomposition, respiration, and ocean release.

With manmade, humans create carbon dioxide with the industrial process, deforestation, and mainly fossil fuels. NASA has recently said that carbon dioxide levels are the highest they’ve been in the past 400,000 years. This large amount of CO2 has put us in the new geological era, “Anthropocene.”

Globally, climate change affects in a big way. Rising sea levels, an overall temperature increase, and extinction are side affects of global warming. Even though sea level has never been consistent, by 2050, NASA predicts the arctic will be ice-free in its summer months and sea levels will rise by 6+ inches. Since the Earth has gone through climate change, this results in intense temperatures across the globe, resulting in more drought, flooding, and harder access to clean water.

The irony here, relies on the fact that people are only harming themselves, when it comes to the environment. Climate change results in extreme weather, putting humankind at risk.

Now you get to pick your poison!

Depending on the region in the U.S., weather will change drastically.

Northwest: There will be a switch the timing of streamflows, meaning you’ll be really thirsty from the lack of water supply. High hecking sea levels results in erosion, inundation, and higher levels of ocean acidity. You’re also going to die from some wildfires, insect outbreak, and of all things, you can die from tree diseases.

Southeast:  Expect similar side-effects as the Northwest, but you’ll also expect to be a bit toastier because of the high temperatures.

Northeast: People in this region can throw away their blankets since the heat waves will occur so often, and maybe even trade those blankets out for tarps since heavy downpours will leave you drenched.

Southwest: Put on your bro tanks since stuff is going to heat up, and dry up. Drought will leave low amounts of crops, and lead to insect outbreaks.

Midwest: Increased temperatures means longer growing seasons. But a longer season with severe storms. So you can die from lack of food, or from poor water quality!

Now, some may be wondering, “How can I survive climate change?”  Well, who doesn’t love being indoors 24/7? Since human bodies are physically unable to adapt to the quick changing weather patterns, our only choice is cowering indoors to controlled temperatures. That, or we could ask some scientists to make us suits that can resist certain extreme temperatures, but in the end, nothing can protect us from tsunamis, hurricanes, intense drought, earthquakes, or tornadoes. And no, that’s not dramatization, this is real.

So unlike early male pattern baldness, global warming is deadly. Climate change is very real and shouldn’t be ignored. If we continue to pollute, we’ll just end up without humankind, or a planet to live on (No biggie though, right?) So carpool sometimes, go vegetarian for a day, and hug a tree or something.

Enjoy it while you can, my friends.

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You’re Literally Killing Yourself